My wife and I both grew up in an era and in families where sex was not discussed. It was simply ignored and not talked about, as if it did not exist at all. I fact, we almost believed that it was something that was “dirty” and not done by decent people - and if they do practice it, to do sot in secrecy.
We decided to bring up our children with an open and honest approach to sex, which we regard not only as a normal part of human existence, but something that can be beautiful provided it is practised between consensual people, without coercion, and provided that precautions are taken to practice safe sex and prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Our son Frank and daughter Mary (not their real names) differ 18 months in age. They regularly bathed together until both showed signs of puberty, whereafter they had separate baths (or showers).
At a young age we made sure that our son’s foreskin was loose from his glans. My wife showed him at an early age how to retract his prepuce and clean the glans daily whilst having a bath (and later when taking a shower).
We openly talked about sex, encouraging our kids to ask questions if they wanted to know anything, and be open and frank about their desires and wishes. For us it was a topic of disuccion no different from discussing the weather or our wishes for our next holidays.
During puberty Frank had the liberty to ask me many questions, and I encouraged him, with no topic disallowed. He wanted to know if masturbating is “bad” or “sinful”. I could tell him that it is part of normal sexual acitivities and an outlet for sexual urges, that he could mastubate as much as he wanted to (but not overdo it - I thought once a day was adequate!) without fear of growing hairs on the palms of his hands, or suffer any other malady. He was open about it. I offered to demonstrate on him how it is done, which he readily accepted. For us sharing such intimacies and instructing him on sexual matters was nothing unusual, but cemented the bond between all of us as a family. Once at breakfast table Frank joked (with his mother and sister present) that he was so busy the past few days with sport and school tasks that he could not even find time for a wank! We all laughed about it. It was open knowledge that he did it regularly.
Even his sister would tease him; once when he came out of the bathroom after spending some time there, looking guilty, she asked: “Been wanking again?” He retorted: “Yes, and what about it?” She similarly had regular open discussions about sex with her mother.
We told them all they needed to know about sex, especially about practising safe sex and contraception.
Frank came to me wanting to know what “docking” is. I told him, saying that it is generally practised by gay men. (Frank never showed any gay tendencies or interest).
It must have bothered him, because a week or so later he raised the topic again. I was most surprised when he asked me: “Can we try it, dad?” (perhaps thinking back about how I introduced him to masturbation).
I agreed. That evening, under the shower, we docked. Both had a full erection in anticipation. We rolled our foreskins back, put our penis heads together; he rolled back his foreskin, covering both his and my glans. I then rolled back my foreskin, covering his foreskin fully, tightly docking us together in a firm lock. We did not masturbate, but just stood like that for a full five minutes, whilst I lightly stroked both our penises, both maintaining a full erection. I never felt so close to my son all my life as during those five electric minutes. After we undocked, he relieved himself by masturbating whilst I got out from under the shower, and dried myself. We never repeated it; he was satisfied that he had tried and experienced it once. :biglaugh:
A real test came when Mary told her mother of her wish to closely inspect a penis, although she had often seen her brother’s penis when they were younger. My wife relayed her wish to Frank, and he readily agreed to act as model (feeling flattered, I believe). All three of them were present when he undressed completely and allowed his sister to inspect his manhood in detail, after he first had a shower, properly washing his genitals. His sister (she was clothed) touched his penis, were surprised by how hard an erect penis is, rolled back his foreskin, and fondled his testicles (being told to be careful!). Their mother instructed her on the anatomical details. Mary looked up at her mother and asked: “Can I put it in my mouth?” and when Frank agreed, promptly proceeded to do so, sucking lightly for a few seconds (but not performing full fellatio).
Frank grabbed the opportunity and said “Okay, you’ve seen mine, now I want so see yours.” Mary could not refuse, allowing him (under the guidance of their mother) to inspect her vagina, opening the lips, finding (and lightly touching) the clitoris, and licking it with his tongue (after expressing the wish to do so). :biglaugh: I was fully infomed about it the next morning at breakfast table, and both agreed that it was an enjoyable and good learning experience. Their mother being present throughout eliminated the possibility of them doing something behind our backs. We were happy for their sake.
Some time later Mary had another wish: a demonstation on how to give a boy a handjob. Once again Frank’s assistance was requested. With their mother present, she had her first experience at doing so, until Frank had an orgasm. Mary was surprised at the amount of semen squirting out, smelled it, and even dipped her finger in it to taste it (a taste which she did not like).
We as parents expected that her next wish would be to practice fellatio, but it never happened, and Frank never had a similar wish to practice cunnilingus. Instead, we purchased an educational sex DVD, demonstrating both (amongst other things), and watched it with all four of us present. Afterwards each of them watched it again a couple of times.
In her mid teens Mary told her mother that she was ready to lose her virginity. Since it was her own decision, we did not try to talk her out of it, but expressed the wish that it would be an experience she would cherish and only have good memories of. My wife also insisted on praciticing safe sex and taking the necessary precautions to prevent a pregnancy. Mary had one condition: she had already chosen a boy she wanted to lose her virginity to, but that we would never ask her his name. We agreed. It would be her only secret.
I had to go out of town on business for four days, accompanied by my wife, leaving the kids alone at home. It was a few days after our return that Mary informed my wife that she had indeed lost her virginity, that it was a beautiful experience, and that the guy she chose did it with care and great caution. We do not know how the boy is, since she was not in a regular relationship at the time, but both my wife and I have our suspicions. 
Nice story. Wish I grew up like that!
I find the interaction between father and son, and between the siblings, not offensive at all. It is a demonstation of mutual trust and openness. Rather have such experimentation and first experiences under controlled circumstances and guidance of the parents, because the children will anyhow do it. The alternative for them is to do it behaind their parent’s backs and in secret, and is fraught with taboo connotations.
As regards the last anecdote about your daughter losing her virginity: I suppose that even in a family in which the members have no secrets for each other, there are some things that are best kept confidential. 
The story above is illustrative of the fact that sex has ourgrown its primary (and even exclusive) objective namely for procreation, and that it is largely practised in the 21 century for recreation and enjoyment. And as long as it is consensual and done between willing partners, it is nobody else’s business. 8)
There can be little doubt as to whom Mary chose to pop her cherry. And if my own suspicions are correct (and are similar to yours), she could not have chosen anyone better. Perhaps she may one day gather enough courage to reveal to you his name, especially if you can convince her that whoever she chose, your would be happy with her choice and that it is with your blessings.
Mary is obviously a very sensible girl, determined in whatever she wants to do, and with a practical approach to life. When she set her mind on losing her virginity, she needed a penis to do so. What better than call in the services of the one she already was aquainted with - besides the fact that the guy attached to her penis of choice happened to be a nice guy she knew well, and was readily available (and hopefully willing to be of assistance).
What would you do if you were to find out that Frank and Mary have started making love to each other on a regular basis? The conditions under which they grew up would make this quite a possibility.
They were both brougt up to make responsible decisions in whatever they do and are young adults who know that they should take full responsibility for all of their actions. Should it be the case as you suggest, we will not snoop on them but would prefer them to be the ones to divulge it to us and talk about it in an open and frank way. We will not be reproachful, nor condemn them. They are fully informed about what is regarded as acceptable and what is regarded as taboo by society. What consensual adults do in privacy is their own business.
i dont get it - why’s the sperm emoticon frowning – no place to get to? shouldn’t he be smiling or something? ha